My last paper of my life officially ended on 18 May! Education like a big stone and now the stone can finally be put down. felt relieve. actually i dun even worry abt the outcome of my results. i knw it sucks this sem. but i realli did my best.

A lot of things has been going thru my mind... After 18 May, it is not the end of the world. although i would veri much wanna declare it to be independence day.

There are many things to worry STILL. i tot onli studies my biggest worry. Now all the small small medium medium worries comes out to play.. Things like succession of YEC.. I am not veri confident in doing it. but i was surprised by my ideas when it comes to YEC. it is really a channel for me to do what i want to do and to do it with fun. Ytd, my dearest chairlady introduced me as the next chairperson to ccmc chairman. Seems like b4 i decide for myself, i cant run away this time round. So I have to take up this uphill task. Besides confidence, work is my primary concern. as i am new to work, i might not knw how busy i am and during weekends, am i gonna devote 24 hrs to community. then i ask.. where is my life??

work is gonna be exciting! I hope. someone reminded me that work is exciting. Yupx i will!

Another part of my time went into YP. that is my least priority but ya i will still go on with it. But i need to be clear that YEC is way more impt. this semester, being super busy and forgot the priority, i seriously dunno wad i am heading to.. what i am doing... i help out in alot of events in YP and neglected YEC. Actually was nominated to go some initative course.. during apr-may. i tot it was managable even though it is exam time. but after that nearer to the date, esp when there is election, my schedule got super packed and with all the stupid datelines that i have to work w for studies.. i have to give up the course. I am sure it is a good one and i knw he is in. So it kinda meant 我们有缘无份。。。 but it is realli a dilemma .. sometimes i realli wish i can be there and at least i can catch up with him. but isnt it awkward enuff. I shall be more firm with it comes to r/s.

the worst thing is i got glued to a tv serial which has a character with the same name as he is. hearing the name repeat dunno how many times.. can helping thinking why ppl names with such can be so charming forever. i will still want to knw how he is doing, in fact honestly 我尝试放下不过我真的放不下。人不可以往后看，而我还真的往后看。。。 mixed feelings occurs when heart and brain are not heading the same direction. again i ask.. what shall i do?

i knw there is someone who has been there for me this semester.. but the FEEL is jus not there yet. dun ask me why. cant really predict wads gonna happen in the future. but i think the feel will only appear when true love appear.