have no idea why i felt so sad suddenly. now i knw why.
because i remembered his birthday on my calendar as a nv gonna be forgotten date. it is veri hard to forget. so all along i trust that i am busy and hence it doesnt reminds me too much.

strangely i tot i would have gotten out of the circle instead of keep going round and round. But i am still going round and round for no reason. the feel seems to be STILL there. dunno to be happy or sad.

but having imagined celebrating his birthday has been planned since last yr. but haha things gone wrong and my plan stopped. too bad. that's life!

I dunno how to explain my feelings now but it is like a mixture and troubled... it is really a sudden saddness. Just as I was in the midst of mugging ...